Because of where I’m at in life, 2017 has been absolutely insane and is only going to get crazier. Things are constantly changing and I’m always on the go. Gotta get ready for this, gotta study for that, gotta perform over there, gotta work at 1:00, gotta teach at 5:00. It’s a lot of “gotta’s” – am I right?
It’s really easy to get overwhelmed when so many things are happening at once. There’s been a lot of times when I’ve just wanted to shut down and pretend like none of it was happening. Procrastinate until the day of and deal with the repercussions later. (Procrastination is not a good defense mechanism, by the way. I would not suggest..)
Thankfully, I have some pretty good coping skills and am a very “Type A” person, so rather than delay and try to escape everything, I just stress myself out until the job is done. And then I stress myself out even more when I don’t have anything left to do because my name is Devin and I am not a logical person.
I’ve grown so much this year. I can’t even to begin to describe to you how much I’ve grown. If you know me personally, I would hope you could see the change, or at least sense the internal change. Outwardly, not much is different. I still wear yoga pants 6 out of 7 days of the week and wear my hair up in a bun like a boss
I’m not going to lie, the past few years have been a struggle. They’ve been hard. From a psychological/developmental standpoint, the things I’ve gone through might seem tame or even normal, but that didn’t make the pain any less dull. Thoughts can be very dangerous things. Someone once told me that in order to be a well-balanced person and be at a constant in life, you have to experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Well, I did. I have some great memories flooded with warm feeling emotions as I think back to the highs of these past years. I also haven’t lost sight of what it’s like to be in a low. It’s dark and lonely, and it seems like there is no possible way out.
The place where I’m at now, it’s a good one. Filled with peace and consistency. It’s not a total plateau, but more of a middle ground that I’ve learned to stay near. I still have my hard days, but admist the chaos I’m still at peace. Who knew that could even happen?
If you know anyone in life right now going through a hard time, please don’t give up on them. This is when they need you the most. No, they don’t need you to tell them “This is God’s will,” “I’m so sorry,” or “I completely understand.” You don’t understand. Even if you’ve gone through the very same thing, everyone’s circumstances and reactions are different. Simply be there. Sit there, listen to them half drown in their tears as they ramble on and on about how this could, “only be described as a nightmare.” At that point, they don’t need someone to talk to them and most definitely not preach at them. They need you to simply listen.